August 4th 2016 – The Weather

Still looking at my emotions from different perspectives, as I was trying to navigate them. It was still hard to accept my emotions rather than reject them. So I wanted to understand what was affecting me outside of myself, because it was safer than diving into what what affecting me inside of myself.

Sometimes, as humans, we have to stop and remember that we are mostly comprised of water. So the elements of nature can have a strong effect on us. Things like the lunar cycle can effect us—making us more hormonal around the full moon perhaps. I notice all the time that the weather has a very strong effect on me. I am super happy when the sun is out. As soon as the clouds roll in and the rain arrives, my happiness tends to leave with the sun. Some say it’s the barometric pressure. I’m sure science has a better explanation for this.

I know that my hormones are affected by my menstrual cycle. There are days when I feel utterly alone, like nobody loves me and life is pointless. There are some days that frustrate me—everything goes wrong and I just want to attack everything, yell, scream, swear, set everything on fire, and mail the ashes to the four corners of the world. Then I stop to check my period app and realize that I’m just PMSing—and nobody has to die today.

Although, knowing that it’s a full moon, or it’s raining, or I’m PMSing, doesn’t instantly change my mood and make me happy. It often puts everything back into perspective. It reminds me that the emotions I’m experiencing are not always caused by a specific circumstance. That they may not necessarily be logical or reasonable. They’re just part of nature. These emotions will pass—as the moon continues its cycle, or my menstrual cycle continues, or the weather changes. It helps remind me that I can manage my emotions, and by identifying the source, I can work with these forces of nature instead of against them.

I can take a deep breath and smile. I can choose to return to my happiness. If that still feels too difficult to accomplish in that moment then I can just make it through the day and get a good night’s rest. The next day I can start over fresh and rejuvenated, ready to overcome anything,

While I still believe that external forces—like the weather, the moon, and our hormones—can absolutely affect our mood. But now, I also recognize that there’s often something deeper going on too. Sometimes it’s not just the full moon or PMS—it’s an old wound, a buried emotion, or an unresolved experience surfacing. Those inner battles shape how we react, even when we don’t notice it right away. Understanding the influence of both the outer and inner worlds has helped me meet myself with more compassion. And I think that’s something a lot of us are learning: that self-awareness isn’t about fixing everything—it’s about learning to ride the waves without drowning in them.